I find your lack of faith disturbing

Today there was several talks that by themselves were just impressive but together in my mind were a great teaching lesson on what I needed to do next with my faith. In sacrament meeting the one talk that stood out was on the words that we use and how to use them as a teaching mechanism and the means to create great roads of dialog with those that we associate with. In gospel doctrine we talked about Joshua and his struggle to gain courage to lead Israel and take Canaan. Finally, the topic in priesthood we talked about gaining wisdom and applying it to our knowledge, also gaining knowledge so that we can go beyond our faith. All of the lessons were by themselves unrelated. It was at the end of the lesson of priesthood that I realized what I had been sent there to learn (as I was curious this morning).

The lesson was that despite what the Lord attempts to say to me and the need to exercise faith that I had not seemed to stretch and the fact that my faith had not grown much these past few weeks had been both disturbing to the Lord and, when I opened my eyes, to myself. This was not to say that I had not grown in wisdom and knowledge but my faith had not really improved. I realized that I had become as Luke of Star Wars who after seeing all these miracles of the Force could only mutter "I don't believe it." This has been why I have failed to get a new job or change my circumstance is because, though like the children of Israel, have seen the Red Sea parted still struggle with belief that I was there.

There are times in life especially for the Saints when we read the stories of crossing the Mississippi on ice, or causing the great walls of Jericho to fall, that we falter in our faith thinking that we are not sufficient to witness those miracles. I then think of the home teacher of young Howard W. Hunter who came from an inactive family. He (the home teacher) perhaps didn't think hat he would witness a future prophet come from one of the homes that he visited. He was glad that he got the Hunter family to attend church. I think that we need to continually remember that 'size maters not' and that is especially true in our roll in the church. Those with a fervent desire to do good will witness the miracles because their faith will increase. The callings that we are called to do with faith and diligence will increase our understanding. Above all, our faith will increase when we make an effort to seek for wisdom in all things.

Let us make a better effort to 'do or do not' and not just 'try'; clearly define our roll in the Lords church. We need to search, ponder and pray that might be given the opportunity to expand our mind and faith. God is not attempting to block us and cut us off from crossing the street, but as a parent seeks to teach us and lead us by the hand, so by showing us the way, we cross the street on our own. As it was with Israel so it should be with us, let the Lord guide us by day with a pillar of smoke and a pillar of fire by night. We may not know where we are going in life but if we have faith we will get there.