One of the speakers began talking about the meek. Now I had some limited understanding of the meek mainly that they would inherit the earth. This sister though thought of a new way of putting it and presented a thought that told us that perhaps that God in his infinite wisdom had in fact changed our course so that we would always find happiness in His choice (a choice that was not clear or direct; something that we would enjoy as well, as his children). As I was sitting in the foyer it hit me. When I was young I wanted so badly to be a church leader and felt put off because I was always the student and when the opportunity arose to be something of a leader I would again be put in situations that called for my other talents in a new direction. For instance, when I was a missionary, I wanted to be a leader of some kind but I didn't develop fast enough through my experience and I probably would of been a poor leader. During that time I was very upset with the leadership and God because as a man-child I thought I was prepared but a missionary that could just spit out scripture and not with the spirit was not ready to be a leader. Perhaps President knew that and on the same breath he new that (through the spirit) that I was not good with change so he kept me in only three areas my whole mission.
I have wondered sometimes if I have been a stubborn child to God and in fact have been compelled to be meek because I want to be obedient but I cant get over my thick skull. Its like being compelled to be humble (and perhaps they are more related then I think).
I know that I am not humble nor meek enough to be a leader some days. It shows in my work effort. I want to be the boss but forget that with great power comes great responsibility. In my life I have been steward of several cars that I have crashed in fender benders and I forgot I had responsibility over that too so I am not sure if I truly know power and responsibility. I also know very little of sacrifice as God has been generous with giving of his substance (yes that means I am a full tithe payer). While I am gone from my wife and four children for months at a time (no I am not a soldier) I am blessed to be in this wonderful country and I am not more then a thousand miles from home and if ever it was needed the company would be willing to fly me for an emergency (as they have done once or twice).
I honestly believe that this has been a great training ground for understanding sacrifice and compelled humility as I spend nights alone and the only human contact is those hands that I shake sparsely. I have also been privileged to know some great people and traveled across this whole land seeing 47 states in the Union. Something that I am certain that most will not be able to say in their lifetime. I have learned about myself in a way that perhaps I would of never have.
So am I one of the meek? Perhaps. My struggles have been alone and worded only to my wife and this blog. I have found that I must challenge myself in a new and different way so that I can find my purpose (and I am certain that its not just working 60 hours a week). Is that what the meek do. They take what they have and push themselves to be something that they were meant to be? I wonder.
A few weeks (perhaps it was months) Glenn Beck extended a challenge that was similar. What was our purpose and to whom were we going to make a difference? He said that we were not made to do a 9 to 5 job and then die but to rise above that and be something. I believe that he was talking about Nielsen Mandela when he was talking about it and while I detest with every fiber of my being the putrid thought of communism and all its forms and the poison that it does to the good minds of men, women and children I could not help appreciate that Glenn was pointing that Nielsen found his purpose and seized the day; made his life his own.
All of us need to find our moment and recognize our humility, see what we are made of and the experiences that we have been in and make our lives our own.
That's my lesson to you.